It’s difficult to see in the shattered glass a depiction of her is there, but the portrait has become distorted and faded. She is losing sight of who she is.
The fragments she grabs are sharp, cutting her deep; she needs rescuing.
Resentment resurfaces, and her frustration obscures all viewpoints other than her own.
She is shivering in distress, Knowing only Jesus can give her rest, but the light is dim. She is caught up in the whirlwind, reminding her of who she hasn't been.
She’s empty and weak, tripping over her enemy. Her own worse criticism is the reflection she sees.
She is raging inside the chaos she creates.
She was caught in a deep depression, allowing the flesh to overcome her faith.
But one day, She is reminded of his grace.
He says to her, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
The reflection I am talking about is me...
Focusing on my circumstances made me lose sight of him.
My patience for others began to wear thin, and I began to react with my initial feelings rather than respond with grace and love. Not having control over someone's lack of communication or integrity sends me into a spiral. It has a lot to do with always being told by someone close to me growing up that he would be there and never showing.
The problem was how I let others affect my attitude.
It’s a process, and structure and balance is a must. “Nothing outside of you has power over you. You decide how you think, feel, and do things. Take full ownership and become free.”
Blessing follows obedience. It is vital to self-reflect and ask God to search your heart (Psalm 139:23-24).
“Knowing what feeds depression will help control its appetite.” Stephen Woeste
God revealed the following:
Saying no is healthy. Time is valuable, don’t waste it because of the fear of missing out.
God must remain first. Reading my Bible and praying for others with purpose and intention, writing the prayers down, and praying over the person more than once.
Sanctifying myself in his image by speaking his word over my insecurities and rebuking any lies from the enemy in Jesus' name.
Talking to my husband about my triggers to help avoid any intentionally
Having a day of rest every week
Structuring time spent on the phone and having uninterrupted time with my husband at least once a week.
Cultivating a rhythm to reflect what I want to pursue and become.
Drowning in self-pity stunts growth. Sharing my struggles with someone I trust helps me let go of resentment and allows the person to hold me accountable.
Praying for these specifically: influence, protection, blessing, and his presence to show present in my everyday routine.
Giving people grace, and if the problem persists, I go to the person directly only if I can speak from a place of love and not my flesh. Sometimes it takes time.
Making time for things I enjoy and learning to love myself for the gifts God has given me, not what I think I haven't accomplished.
Trust what God gives you, and he will reveal what is essential. It's okay not to know all the answers. Faith is key.
I am starting to pray for God to provide rather than relying on what I can do on my own.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will”(Romans 12:2).
Renewing my mind and adding structure has been a battle, but it is helping me out of the season I have been in. I know with God it is possible to rise above depression, anxiety, or anything I may face. He reminds me of that in his word even when I don't feel it, his truth stands.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you” (Isaiah 43:2).
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